A Limp in the Woods...or not (Day 94)

An Appalachian Trail Tale
Day 94: Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
Glenwood, NJ / Rock Hill, NY Zero Day = 0 miles
Miles to date: 1,349

DON’T WALK

When the going gets easy, that’s where you’ll find me.

But a zero day, that all-important self-imposed no-walk day, is less tranquil than it sounds. It is not a day of abstinence or quiescence, of immobility or ataraxia, of Henry James or video games. As I’ve broached before, errands await. And the list is long. Laundry. Groceries. A post office run to collect a resupply box, or to dispatch one up-trail, or maybe to send postcards to loved ones (if any). A library stopover to catch up on emails (or Wastebook in most people’s cases) or perhaps a cursory glance at the forecast.

And so on.

Since even the most overloaded hiker doesn’t lug a skateboard or a bike, all of this is performed on foot. (A no-walk day? No way!) If it sounds simple, think of doing it in your town, and just how spread apart everything is. Towns are made for machinery, by machinery. On foot, it can take the better part of the day, even if the day doesn’t come with one, as they rarely do when tending to such tasks in a noisy mechanized world. Are there any pedestrian friendly towns in America?

Our errands were few however, and we’d need not do them on foot. The ever-generous Goober escorted us in his big, boxy GMC. (GMC: Guzzling Monstrous Car.) First to a big-box retailer, then to a big-box wholesaler, and finally to a big-box outdoor supply store. Best of all though, his not-so-big-or-boxy house comes with its own Laundromat, so we needn’t sit around waiting for our duds to quit exhaling their usual fetor. (Unfortunately, his dryer, like all dryers, has a high divorce rate among socks.) The thirty year-old’s pad even has a large-screen TV/movie theater (thee-A.T.-er), replete with Lazy Boys and such. Perfect for four lazy boys and a girl(1).

The amphibious Gator

But most of what we did was laze lakeside, working on our tans. Torpid and inert. Save for the cannonballs. All day we five-toed sloths (suborder: americanus lazius) would think outside. No box required.

"Foot"note 1: Q: Is there such a thing as a lazy thru-hiker? A: Not on the AT.